10 Things You Probably Won't Manage To Do Before You Cark It

Did you ever really have clear objectives, picking up and leaving home? Did you believe that time would always to be on your side too? But now as you look around its only the kids who are growing up and we're for the main part only getting older. Well take heart, even Holy Moses didn't achieve all his objectives. Here's a list of 10 things you probably won't manage to do before you cark it:
1.Retire at 40.
2. Become a pop star, and I wouldn’t want to host Countdown with a god-awful hat either.
3. Do an over the top end safari- not in Israel! (Which you could do with your eyes closed looking for Fred’s picnic) but in Australia. Even if you dared blow the kids inheritance, your spouse's retirement might be years after yours and by then you’ll be tied down with other obligations, e.g. the kids doing the army.
4.Die a virgin- ah the great fear of adolescence. But then again in all probability you’ll never sleep with anyone younger than 40 ever again either.
5. See your abs.
6. Play in an AFL grand final.
7. Speak real Hebrew, as in really read Israeli fiction.
8. Have plastic surgery. Out of principle of course! But doesn't seeing yourself in photos shock the living daylights outa ya? In mine I keep looking for the blowhole and Captain Ahab with his harpoon lashed to my forehead .
9. Have a street named after you.
10.Remember what comes after 9.